Everyman's Fantasy

If you want insight like "Adrian Peterson already seems like this season's MVP" or "Aaron Rodgers to Greg Jennings: That's a pretty strong combination", then go ahead, get your power rankings from ESPN. If you think you can deal with 32 sentences written by Peter King, then by all means, go to Sports Illustrated for your weekly fill. If both of these options made you so sick that you decided to start your own blog, then that makes two of us. If both of these options make you sick but you don't have three hours of your life to waste (and you love Jeff Garcia pictures), then simply read and enjoy, my friend. And comment, if you feel so moved.

1. New Orleans- Sure, they gave up 27 points to Detroit, but last I checked, the goal was to score more points than your opponent. And New Orleans will do that this season...alot.

2. Philadelphia- Remember when Donny was upset that the Birds drafted Kolb? That notion seems quaint now that they have Kolb, Vick, and little Jeffy G in the fold.

3. Indianapolis- It wasn't pretty, but getting a win in a big rivalry game is all that matters this early in the season.

4. Pittsburgh- Ditto.

5. New England- Yes, they needed a bonehead play from Leodis to have a chance to win, but someone still had to make the plays at the end, and Brady proved that there is no one better.

6. NY Giants- Steve Smith may not be ready to be a #1 wide receiver, but they may not need one with their running game.

7. San Diego- If there was any question whose team this is, there isn't anymore. And no, we aren't talking about Norv Turner.

8. Green Bay- The league's best preseason team continues to impress, this time with a hard-fought win over a division foe.

9. Dallas- If week 1 was any indication, it appears that TO will miss the Cowboys much more than the Cowboys will miss TO.

10. Minnesota- We know they can run the ball and play defense. The question is: How long will Brett Favre allow his gunslinger side to be reigned in?

11. Baltimore- Joe Flacco doing his best Rich Gannon impression was fun to watch.

12. Atlanta- Even when their best option isn't clicking, playoff teams still find ways to win. Atlanta did that one Sunday.

13. San Francisco- Shaun Hill's ability to win (he is now 8-3 as a starter) is eerily reminiscent of another underrated 49er's quarterback. Now all he has to do is bag himself a Playmate.

14. Arizona- While everyone else is jumping off the Cards bandwagon as quickly as they piled on last season, I'm sticking with them. But another lackluster performance against a team they should beat, and they could be in some major trouble.

15. Jacksonville- They lost, but they showed some spunk. They'll need more than spunk to get them to the 10-6 I predicted.

16. Tennessee- Tennessee's let-down year has begun, folks!

17. NY Jets- Mark Sanchez certainly looked ready to take over the “successful rookie quarterback” mantle from Matt Ryan and Joe Flacco.

18. Seattle- Call me a pessimist, but a pasting of the Rams isn't enough to make me a believer.

19. Buffalo- Move over Marlon McCree, you now have company in the pantheon of “Dumb
Plays Made By Even Dumber Players Who Refuse to Acknowledge They Made a Mistake.” A very prestigious group, no doubt.

20. Houston- And you thought the Cards bandwagon was emptying out? There is enough space here to fit 10 Andre Smith's.

21. Denver- Eww. Eww. Eww. Eww.

22. Washington- Not only is this team not good, but they have to face each NFC East team twice. A perfect recipe for 5-11.

23. Oakland- The anti-Atlanta. Even when their best options are clicking, non-playoff teams still find ways to lose. Oakland did that on Monday.

24. Cincinatti- Only in Cincy. (or Detroit) (or St. Louis)

25. Miami- A below average quarterback throwing to below average receivers with a below average running game leads to a below average record.

26. Chicago- While everyone at ESPN, Sports Illustrated and the like continue to slurp the Bears, you will find no such love here. I'll continue to say it: There is no way this team gets to .500, let alone makes the playoffs. Yes, Jay Cutler has a strong arm. So does UFL'er Kyle Boller.

27. Carolina- My preseason prediction: "Carolina (8-8)- For those of you who thought Aaron Brooks was the only quarterback capable of single-handedly losing a football game, I present to you Mr. Jake Delhomme." I'll now take a bow.

28. Tampa Bay- Good to see Caddy back and running, and who resurrected Michael Clayton?

29. Kansas City- If you can't say something nice, don' say anything at all....

30. Detroit- Want to accurately predict the Week 1 Fantasy MVP each year? Look no further than Detroit. Last year, the Lions gave up 220 yards and 2 touchdowns to Michael Turner. This year, it was 358 yards and 6 touchdowns for Drew Brees.

31. Cleveland- Jamal Lewis looks good. (that's what his prison cell-mate said!)

32. St. Louis- For those of you who weren't watching the barn-burner of a game between Seattle and St. Louis, the last minute sums up the Rams perfectly. Down 7-0, Rams block a field goal attempt, scoop it up, and take it to the house to tie the game 7-7. Wait... 12 men on the field, bring it back, take the points off the board. Three plays later, Seattle scores a touchdown, goes into the locker room up 14-0. You know things are bad when the pinnacle of your season is nullified because you can't count to 11.