Everyman's Fantasy

“Because life without accountability is far too enjoyable”



Not even a fantasy thrashing at the hands of Chris Johnson could quell the joy that radiated through the room last night as I struck gold with my first 2009 betting guide. Not only were the games yesterday awesome from a football perspective and a fantasy perspective (for owners of Matt Schaub, Frank Gore, and the aforementioned Chris Johnson), but also from a bankroll perspective. An 11-4 Sunday means Pabst for everyone!

Highlights:

St. Louis (+10.5) over WASHINGTON- St. Louis may be the worst team in football, but Washington isn't that far behind.

There is no quarterback that consistently delivers mediocrity like Jason Campbell. Three field goals later, the Redskins are making me look like Nostradamus.

Houston (+7.5) over TENNESSEE- How quickly all the hype surrounding the Texans has dissapated. I say not so fast. Houston not only covers, but wins outright.

Bingo Bango! Tom Nelson Underdog's now 1-0 thanks to Tennessee's Kris Kringle-esque generosity.

Arizona (+4.5) over JACKSONVILLE- Man, if this line doesn't prove the (presumed) supremacy of the AFC, I don't know what does. Last year's NFC champ is a 4.5 point underdog to a 5-11 squad? Say what you want about a Super Bowl hangover, but I'm flying high with the Cards this week. That +140 moneyline looks awfully tempting.

Had it not been such a gimme, I would have made the Cards my Tom Nelson pick of the week. Kurt Warner's near flawless performance made a mockery of a line that never should have been set that high to begin with.

N.Y. Giants (+2.5) over DALLAS- This has all the makings of a one point contest. Because of that, I'll take the points. (please hit the scoreboard, please hit the scoreboard, please hit the scoreboard.)

No drama with the scoreboard (boo!), no injuries to either team (boo!) but an almost perfect call with the prediction (yeah!)

Lowlights:

New England (-3) over NY JETS- Mark Sanchez may have bright future ahead of him, but this is still only his second NFL start. Or one less than the amount of SUPER BOWL STARTS for the man on the other side, Mr. Tom Brady.

That same Mr. Brady was unable to lead his team to a single touchdown for the first time since 2006. And Mr. Sanchez (he has earned it now) became only the second rookie quarterback since Big Ben (not bad company) to beat a Belicheck-lead Patriots squad.

Pittsburgh (-3) over CHICAGO- I know it's early in the season, but Super Bowl participants don't seem to be getting enough respect. I have news for you all: Chicago is a farce. Pittsburgh rolls.

While I'll readily admit that I didn't see this coming (Pittsburgh was my Lock of the Week), this is a fluke, not a trend. Ironically enough, the Bears won because Cutler played like Kyle Orton, not like Jay Cutler. If you're a Steelers fan though, you have be worried about the offense, which has only managed 27 points through 2 games. And after watching Houston hang 34 on Tennessee's D, the excuse that they've played against two of the leagues' best defenses is rendered moot. If you're a Chicago fan, enjoy this victory, because it will be one of six you'll have all year.