While I didn't match the sterling 12-4 record of last week, I did managed to break .500 once again. It may only be 8-7, but I'm riding high once again after nailing the Detroit win. One more week like this, and you can replace the world gambling with investing. May the Pabst continue to flow!
Highlights:
CINCINNATI (+3.5) over Pittsburgh- Pittsburgh doesn't be
at anyone by more than three points. In fact, they don't even beat teams like Chicago anymore.
Or Cincinnati. Be very worried, Steel-town. You are oh so close to being 0-3. And it feels soooo good!
NY Giants (-7) over TAMPA BAY- The NFL: Home to the transitive property. Tampa Bay lost to Dallas by 13. Dallas lost to New York Giants by 2. Tampa Bay loses to New York by 15 (or at least more than 7).
Did I write 15? Fingers must have slipped. I meant 24.
DETROIT (+7) over Washington- Washington hits rock bottom when it loses outright to the resident rock bottom dwellers Detroit Lions! There, I said it. It's on paper. And the delete key won't work, so let's move on.
Just like its namesake, the Tom Nelson Pick of the Week is not for the faint of heart. Go big of go home, and for the second straight week, I've nailed it. Nothing better than seeing the second-longest losing streak in NFL history snapped at the hands of the most boring, bland, utterly uninspiring football team in the league. Go Hogs!
NY JETS (-1.5) over Tennessee- Feels like a perfect trap game, with Tennessee absolutely needing a win and the Jets riding high after defeating the Pats. But...I can't get the image of the Titans defense absolutely self-destructin
g against Houston. Jets really start putting pressure on the rest of the AFC East by moving to 3-0.
How many former USC quarterbacks will become legitimate NFL starters before “The Chosen One” gets onto the field? Only two more years of beer bongs in the summer and clipboard- holding in the fall until Matt Barkley makes it three.
Lowlights:
HOUSTON (-3.5) over Jacksonville- Both Houston and Jacksonville are more than willing to give up 30 points to their opponents. Houston is capable of scoring 30 points. Jacksonville is not. That makes this pick easy.
Jacksonville 31, Houston 24. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. Just plain wrong.
Cleveland (-14) over BALTIMORE- When #2 and #32 in your power rankings meet, the spread should be this big. But, for some odd reason, this....just...seems...too....high.
Tease the line 17 more points and my prediction would have been dead on!
OAKLAND 
(+1) over Denver- Ask yourself this: Is Denver good enough to be 3-0? If you're not laughing out loud, then you don't know football.
Now entered into the betting lexicon, the JakeMarcus Russhomme Collary: When deciding between a bad team and a really bad quarterback, pick the bad team. Always.
ARIZONA (-1.5) over Indianapolis - Both quarterbacks have two legitimate MVP's (Peyton's 2009 award ranks up there with Karl Malone in MVP travesties) and one Super Bowl ring. One quarterback has Anquan Boldin as his second wideout. The other has Pierre Garcon.
Guess its time to scrap that Peyton Manning-Kurt Warner comparison article I've been working on.
After a scorching 12-4 start to the season, the fear that comes with high expectations is weighing heavy on my confidence. While everything seemed so clear last week, this certainly felt like a struggle. Is it something in the Rome air? Is it the pizza and gelato coma I've been in for three days? Regardless, like the gladiators who performed only a few kilometers away, I soldier on, determined to slay Vegas.
As always, home team in caps and spreads courtesy of 5dimes.
Tom Nelson Underdog That Wins Outright: 
DETROIT (+7) over Washington- Washington hits rock bottom when it loses outright to the resident rock bottom dwellers Detroit Lions! There, I said it. It's on paper. And the delete key won't work, so let's move on.
Season: 1-0
“You Can Put It On the Board!” Lock of the Week:
NY Giants (-7) over TAMPA BAY- The NFL: Home to the transitive property. Tampa Bay lost to Dallas by 13. Dallas lost to New York Giants by 2. Tampa Bay loses to New York by 15 (or at least more than 7).
Season: 0-1
PHILADELPHIA (-9.5) over Kansas City- Come see a former Houston Cougar battle a quarterback who never took a college snap! Welcome to the UFL, err, NFL.
HOUSTON (-3.5) over Jacksonville- Both Houston and Jacksonville are more than willing to give up 30 points to their opponents. Houston is capable of scoring 30 points. Jacksonville is not. That makes this pick easy.
Cleveland (-14) over BALTIMORE- When #2 and #32 in your power rankings meet, the spread should be this big. But, for some odd reason, this....just...seems...too....high.
Atlanta (+4.5) over New England- Matt Ryan is turning into pre-2007 Tom Brady. He may not put up the biggest numbers, but he makes plays when he needs to, doesn't turn the ball over, and most importantly, he wins. Atlanta keeps it close, and may even pull off the upset.
Green Bay (-7) over ST. LOUIS- The Rams lost to a team that I've now predicted to lose to the Detroit Lions. Greatest Show on Turf, where art thou?
NY JETS (-1.5) over Tennessee- Feels like a perfect trap game, with Tennessee absolutely needing a win and the Jets riding high after defeating the Pats. But...I can't get the image of the Titans defense absolutely self-destructing against Houston. Jets really start putting pressure on the rest of the AFC East by moving to 3-0.
New Orleans (-5.5) over BUFFALO- One thing I wouldn't do when I play New Orleans: Run a hurry up offense. Giving the ball back to Drew Brees and company as quickly as possible seems like a very, very bad idea. Which Bills defensive lineman choke slams Dick Jauron first?
CINCINNATI (+3.5) over Pittsburgh- Pittsburgh doesn't beat anyone by more than three points. In fact, they don't even beat teams like Chicago anymore.
OAKLAND (+1) over Denver- Ask yourself this: Is Denver good enough to be 3-0? If you're not laughing out loud, then you don't know football.
ARIZONA (-1.5) over Indianapolis - Both quarterbacks have two legitimate MVP's (Peyton's 2009 award ranks up there with Karl Malone in MVP travesties) and one Su
per Bowl ring. One quarterback has Anquan Boldin as his second wideout. The other has Pierre Garcon.
Carolina (+9) over DALLAS- Jerry Jones would do anything to avoid going 0-2 in his new billion dollar digs. Like hanging the scoreboard too low. Wait, that wasn't a way to cheat, it was just a huge oversight? My bad. Meanwhile, Tony Romo is working hard to supplant Jake Delhomme as the NFL's most efficient turnover machine.
San Francisco (+7.5) over MINNESOTA- What odds would Vegas have given you during the preseason that this game would feature two undefeated teams? 20-1? 50-1? 100-1? One team emerges unscathed, and I have sneaky suspicion that it could be the Niners. I'm not quite ballsy enough to make the moneyline bet, but I would take the points.
SEATTLE (+1) over Chicago- This week's worst matchup features two teams who don't do anything well. If the game ends 0-0, then Seattle covers!
Last week: 12-4
Season: 12-4
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Here they are, in simple, raw form.
Last week's rank in parenthesis. Glad to see the rest of the mainstream media has jumped on the Saints train with me. You're a week late, gentlemen.
Rising: B-More, J-E-T-S, Hotlanta, Cincy, Fins
Sliding: The State of Pennsylvania, Green Bay, Tennessee, Jacksonville (whoa!)
1. New Orleans (last week: 1)
2. Baltimore (11)
3. NY Giants (6)
4. Indianapolis (3)
5. NY Jets (16)
6. Atlanta (12)
7. San Diego (7)
8. Minnesota (10)
9. New England (5)
10. Dallas (9)
11. San Francisco (13)
12. Arizona (14)
13. Pittsburgh (4)
14. Philadelphia (2)
15. Green Bay (8)
16. Buffalo (18)
17. Houston (19)
18. Cincinnati (23)
19. Miami (24)
20. Denver (20)
21. Chicago (26)
22. Seattle (18)
23. Tennessee (16)
24. Oakland (23)
25. Carolina (27)
26. Washington (22)
27. Jacksonville (15)
28. Tampa Bay (28)
29. Kansas City (29)
30. St. Louis (32)
31. Detroit (30)
32. Cleveland (31)
For many years Americans have debated whether or not the US has room for another major sport. I am a die hard fan of all the four major sports in the US, but there’s one sport that is more near and dear to my heart than any of those. The 
“Beautiful Game”, the game of Soccer.People have different views on this argument, some think it is only a matter of time before soccer is a top four sport in America and some believe that it is simply too boring to become a popular American sport. I have the answer to this debate and the fact that I have experienced soccer from both ends of the spectrum (American soccer and World soccer) qualifies me to speak on this matter.
mericans will choose option number one.Let’s start with the US national team for instance. How many people reading this article got to see the US men’s soccer team play Honduras or Trinidad Tobago? Those were huge games they had to win to put them in a position to qualify for the most important tournament in the world (the World Cup) and it was on
ESPN Classic, a channel available to you for an extra ten dollars a month. Not many people watched those two games or even knew that the games happened. If I ask people whether they saw the Red Sox and the Orioles play their meaningless mid September game on ESPN, I am sure a much higher percentage will have seen it.
My second point goes back to the people in charge of the sport in this country and to say that the MLS is a lousy league would be an understatement of giant proportions, but if you compare the MLS against the mid-level leagues of the world in Argentina, Brazil, and Mexico, you will see how far we are as a country from becoming a soccer power. These (Latin American) leagues are feeder leagues to the three main leagues (Spain, England and Italy). If the MLS was smart they would be traveling to South America and getting many of these players for pennies on a dollar when they are young. Until they recognize that the level of play in America is not good enough they will struggle with TV ratings and therefore not generate enough interest from the public for the league to grow.What I don’t understand is how the MLS doesn’t see that people don’t want to watch mediocre soccer. For example, the Barcelona vs. Chelsea friendly that was hosted in the US is more appealing to watch than USA vs. Honduras in a World cup qualifying match. ESPN was confident enough that they would get good enough ratings to have the Chelsea vs. Barca game live on one of their main networks on prime time on a Wednesday night. If this doesn’t prove my point than maybe I am the blind one.
Finally, people in America are used to paying top dollar for the best leagues in the world. We have the best league in football, basketball, baseball and hockey, so please tell me why I would waste my time watching one of the worst soccer leagues in the world. The money and facilities are here but those in charge must work hard to speed up the growth of the sport.“Because life without accountability is far too enjoyable”
Not even a fantasy thrashing at the hands of Chris Johnson could quell the joy that radiated through the room last night as I struck gold with my first 2009 betting guide. Not only were the games yesterday awesome from a football perspective and a fantasy perspective (for owners of Matt Schaub, Frank Gore, and the aforementioned Chris Johnson), but also from a bankroll perspective. An 11-4 Sunday means Pabst for everyone!
Highlights:
St. Louis (+10.5) over WASHINGTON- St. Louis may be the worst team in football, but Washington isn't that far behind.
There is no quarterback that consistently delivers mediocrity like Jason Campbell. Three field goals later, the Redskins are making me look like Nostradamus.
Houston (+7.5) over TENNESSEE- How quickly all the hype surrounding the Texans has dissapated. I say not so fast. Houston not only covers, but wins outright.
Bingo Bango! Tom Nelson Underdog's now 1-0 thanks to Tennessee's Kris Kringle-esque generosity.
Arizona (+4.5) over JACKSONVILLE- Man, if this line doesn't prove the (presumed) supremacy of the AFC, I don't know what does. Last year's NFC champ is a 4.5 point underdog to a 5-11 squad? Say what you want about a Super Bowl hangover, but I'm flying high with the Cards this week. That +140 moneyline looks awfully tempting.
Had it not been such a gimme, I would have made the Cards my Tom Nelson pick of the week. Kurt Warner's near flawless performance made a mockery of a line that never should have been set that high to begin with.
N.Y. Giants (+2.5) over DALLAS- This has all the makings of a one point contest. Because of that, I'll take the points. (please hit the scoreboard, please hit the scoreboard, please hit the scoreboard.)
No drama with the scoreboard (boo!), no injuries to either team (boo!) but an almost perfect call with the prediction (yeah!)
Lowlights:
New England (-3) over NY JETS- Mark Sanchez may have bright future ahead of him, but this is still only his second NFL start. Or one less than the amount of SUPER BOWL STARTS for the man on the other side, Mr. Tom Brady.
That same Mr. Brady was unable to lead his team to a single touchdown for the first time since 2006. And Mr. Sanchez (he has earned it now) became only the second rookie quarterback since Big Ben (not bad company) to beat a Belicheck-lead Patriots squad.
Pittsburgh (-3) over CHICAGO- I know it's early in the season, but Super Bowl participants don't seem to be getting enough respect. I have news for you all: Chicago is a farce. Pittsburgh rolls.
While I'll readily admit that I didn't see this coming (Pittsburgh was my Lock of the Week), this is a fluke, not a trend. Ironically enough, the Bears won because Cutler played like Kyle Orton, not like Jay Cutler. If you're a Steelers fan though, you have be worried about the offense, which has only managed 27 points through 2 games. And after watching Houston hang 34 on Tennessee's D, the excuse that they've played against two of the leagues' best defenses is rendered moot. If you're a Chicago fan, enjoy this victory, because it will be one of six you'll have all year.
We're through one week of the season, and for the first time in years I don't find myself on the wrong side of .500. VICTORY! Of course, in the interest of full disclosure, far more pressing matters (like driving 20 dozen baseballs 9 hours to Germany) hampered me from making any predictions whatsoever. Not that I'm complaining. It allowed me to salvage my pride, and bank account, for one more week.
Before getting to NFL picks, a quick scouring of World Series futures reveals an interesting value play. San Francisco, which now sits only 2.5 games out of the NL Wild Card and boasts the best rotation in all of baseball (Lincecum, Cain, a rejuvenated Barry Zito, and Mr. No-No Johnathan Sanchez) are a steal at 50/1. If they can sneak by the "dropping like a Rock-ies", their staff gives them as good a chance as any in the wide-open NL. But snap them up quick, because that line will be changing quickly, especially as they inch closer to the wild card lead.
Onto the NFL:
The Tom Nelson Underdog That Wins Outright: Houston Texans
"You Can Put It On the Board!" Lock of the Week: Pittsburgh (-3) over CHICAGO
As always, the spreads are courtesy of 5dimes and the home teams are in CAPS.
ATLANTA (-7) over Carolina- The more intriguing bet involving this game is the over/under for Jake Delhomme turnovers. Take the over on anything in single digits.
St. Louis (+10.5) over WASHINGTON- St. Louis may be the worst team in football, but Washington isn't that far behind.
Houston (+7.5) over TENNESSEE- How quickly all the hype surrounding the Texans has dissapated. I say not so fast. Houston not only covers, but wins outright.
New Orleans (pick'em) over PHILADELPHIA- Combined, Michael Vick, Donovan McNabb, and Jeff Garcia have 12 Pro Bowl appearances. Unfortunately, all three will also be starting the game on the bench for the Birds. Drew Brees vs. Kevin Kolb in a pick'em? That's a no-brainer.
New England (-3) over NY JETS- Mark Sanchez may have bright future ahead of him, but this is still only his second NFL start. Or o
ne less than the amount of SUPER BOWL STARTS for the man on the other side, Mr. Tom Brady.
Oakland (+3.5) over KANSAS CITY- The classic “who looked better in defeat” question? I'm going with the Raiders, whose running game was very productive against San Diego last week. Baby steps, Oakland, baby steps.
Arizona (+4.5) over JACKSONVILLE- Man, if this line doesn't prove the (presumed) supremacy of the AFC, I don't know what does. Last year's NFC champ is a 4.5 point underdog to a 5-11 squad? Say what you want about a Super Bowl hangover, but I'm flying high with the Cards this week. That +140 moneyline looks awfully tempting.
GREEN BAY (-9) over Cincinnati- After just finishing the season finale of Hard Knocks, its awfully tough to pick against the Bengals. But then I remember its the Bengals. Silver lining: everyone's a winner if Ochocinco does the Lambeau Leap.
Minnesota (-10.5) over DETROIT- It's entirely possible (probable?) that Adrian Peterson could have over 400 yards rushing after Week 2. The assault on 2,105 (sans goggles) gains real legitimacy courtesy of the Detroit Lions.
BUFFALO (-4.5) over Tampa Bay- Tampa Bay with Adrian Peterson (who they passed on in the 2007 draft): fun to watch, explosive on offense, Super Bowl contenders. Tampa Bay with Gaines Adams (who they drafted #5 in 2007): Not so much.
SAN FRANCISCO (pick'em) over Seattle- It's Christmas in September with two pick'ems in one week. Lest I remind you again, Shaun Hill is now 9-3 as a starter.
Pittsburgh (-3) over CHICAGO- I know it's early in the season, but Super Bowl paricipants don't seem to be getting enough respect. I have news for you all: Chicago is a farce. Pittsburgh rolls.
DENVER (-3) over Cleveland- After Week 12 last season, many in the football world were pegging the Broncos as darkhorse Super Bowl contenders. 4 straight losses, the trade of your franchise quarterback, a hissy fit by your star wideout, and a lucky Week 1 victory over the Bungles later and they are neutral field equals with the lowly Cleveland Browns. They're bad, but not that bad.
SAN DIEGO (-3.5) over Baltimore- Can San Diego contain the juggernaut that is Joe Flacco? Uhh, yes.
N.Y. Giants (+2.5) over DALLAS- This has all the makings of a one point contest. Because of that, I'll take the points. (please hit the scoreboard, please hit the scoreboard, please hit the scoreboard.)
Indianapolis (-3) over MIAMI- I've hammered the road team all week, why stop now?
An instant rebuttal to anyone who argues that soccer is truly a man's game...
Need more proof? [Soccer's Flopping Problem]
If Vlade Divac and Anderson Varejo had a baby, he would instantly become a star for the Azzurri. [All-Time NBA Floppers, One of These is Not Like the Others]
Women should never be looked at as a piece of property. Unless, of course, they tattoo your name on the small of their back. Or you're Mark Grace. Or both. [Simply. Amazing.]
Hey, it's Charles Rogers, everybody! One of Matt Millen's better decisions as a GM. [Charles Rogers Need His Nap, Ay Day, Ay Day]
I could watch this ay day, ay day. Don't have time to for the entire interview? Skip to 2:38 for the best parts.
If this article was on a personal blog, it would be bad enough. The fact that it is by an NBC sportswriter, on nbcsports.com, makes me doubt everything I've ever thought about the intelligence of humanity. Tom Curran gives you five NFL players who will be "household names" after this season. I wish this was a joke. [Curran's Big Five]
Rightfully so, the guys at Deadspin (who are actually the boys from the since retired Fire Joe Morgan) rip into the Curran article. [Adrian Peter-who?]
"While shopping recently at Radio Shack, Florida quarterback Tim Tebow was approached by a woman with a seemingly innocuous request to take a picture with him. But an instant before her mother snapped the photo with a cellphone camera, the woman tried to take off her shirt." Just good ol' fashioned mother-daughter bonding. [It Aint Easy Being Tebow]
Marvin Harrison with one hand tied behind his back and a gun in the other is better than this alternative. [Hank the Frank]
In the 80's, Shawne Merriman beating up Tila Tequila would hardly even warrant a mention. The original LT sheds some light on his escapades. ["These are not recreational handcuffs"]
Guaranteed to be the best 2:31 of your day.
And you thought wrestling was dead. The story behind the video here.
More Work Can Wait later. This just simply couldn't wait.
If you want insight like "Adrian Peterson already seems like this season's MVP" or "Aaron Rodgers to Greg Jennings: That's a pretty strong combination", then go ahead, get your power rankings from ESPN. If you think you can deal with 32 sentences written by Peter King, then by all means, go to Sports Illustrated for your weekly fill. If both of these options made you so sick that you decided to start your own blog, then that makes two of us. If both of these options make you sick but you don't have three hours of your life to waste (and you love Jeff Garcia pictures), then simply read and enjoy, my friend. And comment, if you feel so moved.
1. New Orleans- Sure, they gave up 27 points to Detroit, but last I checked, the goal was to score more points than your opponent. And New Orleans will do that this se
ason...alot.
2. Philadelphia- Remember when Donny was upset that the Birds drafted Kolb? That notion seems quaint now that they have Kolb, Vick, and little Jeffy G in the fold.
3. Indianapolis- It wasn't pretty, but getting a win in a big rivalry game is all that matters this early in the season.
4. Pittsburgh- Ditto.
5. New England- Yes, they needed a bonehead play from Leodis to have a chance to win, but someone still had to make the plays at the end, and Brady proved that there is no one better.
6. NY Giants- Steve Smith may not be ready to be a #1 wide receiver, but they may not need one with their running game.
7. San Diego- If there was any question whose team this is, there isn't anymore. And no, we aren't talking about Norv Turner.
8. Green Bay- The league's best preseason team continues to impress, this time with a hard-fought win over a division foe.
9. Dallas- If week 1 was any indication, it appears that TO will miss the Cowboys much more than the Cowboys will miss TO.
10. Minnesota- We know they can run the ball and play defense. The question is: How long will Brett Favre allow his gunslinger side to be reigned in?
11. Baltimore- Joe Flacco doing his best Rich Gannon impression was fun to watch.
12. Atlanta- Even when their best option isn't clicking, playoff teams still find ways to win. Atlanta did that one Sunday.
13. San Francisco- Shaun Hill's ability to win (he is now 8-3 as a starter) is eerily reminiscent of another underrated 49er's quarterback. Now all he has to do is bag himself a Playmate.
14. Arizona- While everyone else is jumping off the Cards bandwagon as quickly as they piled on last season, I'm sticking with them. But another lackluster performance against a team they should beat, and they could be in some major trouble.
15. Jacksonville- They lost, but they showed some spunk. They'll need more than spunk to get them to the 10-6 I predicted.
16. Tennessee- Tennessee's let-down year has begun, folks!
17. NY Jets- Mark Sanchez certainly looked ready to take over the “successful rookie quarterback” mantle from Matt Ryan and Joe Flacco.
18. Seattle- Call me a pessimist, but a pasting of the Rams isn't enough to make me a believer.
19. Buffalo- Move over Marlon McCree, you now have company in the pantheon of “Dumb
Plays Made By Even Dumber Players Who Refuse to Acknowledge They Made a Mistake.” A very prestigious group, no doubt.
20. Houston- And you thought the Cards bandwagon was emptying out? There is enough space here to fit 10 Andre Smith's.
21. Denver- Eww. Eww. Eww. Eww.
22. Washington- Not only is this team not good, but they have to face each NFC East team twice. A perfect recipe for 5-11.
23. Oakland- The anti-Atlanta. Even when their best options are clicking, non-playoff teams still find ways to lose. Oakland did that on Monday.
24. Cincinatti- Only in Cincy. (or Detroit) (or St. Louis)
25. Miami- A below average quarterback throwing to below average receivers with a below average running game leads to a below average record.
26. Chicago- While everyone at ESPN, Sports Illustrated and the like continue to slurp the Bears, you will find no such love here. I'll continue to say it: There is no way this team gets to .500, let alone makes the playoffs. Yes, Jay Cutler has a strong arm. So does UFL'er Kyle Boller.
27. Carolina- My preseason prediction: "Carolina (8-8)- For those of you who thought Aaron Brooks was the only quarterback capable of single-handedly losing a football game, I present to you Mr. Jake Delhomme." I'll now take a bow.
28. Tampa Bay- Good to see Caddy back and running, and who resurrected Michael Clayton?
29. Kansas City- If you can't say something nice, don' say anything at all....
30. Detroit- Want to accurately predict the Week 1 Fantasy MVP each year? Look no further than Detroit. Last year, the Lions gave up 220 yards and 2 touchdowns to Michael Turner. This year, it was 358 yards and 6 touchdowns for Drew Brees.
31. Cleveland- Jamal Lewis looks good. (that's what his prison cell-mate said!)
32. St. Louis- For those of you who weren't watching the barn-burner of a game between Seattle and St. Louis, the last minute sums up the Rams perfectly. Down 7-0, Rams block a field goal attempt, scoop it up, and take it to the house to tie the game 7-7. Wait... 12 men on the field, bring it back, take the points off the board. Three plays later, Seattle scores a touchdown, goes into the locker room up 14-0. You know things are bad when the pinnacle of your season is nullified because you can't count to 11.
New Rule: While it is good to be confident, over-hyping your own team can be more detrimental than good.
I know it’s early and my overreaction is similar to one of Beiler’s infantile tantrums after a first inning strike out by Ibanez, but I’m a little worried about the BlankaXpress. Even though I came out victorious, I deserve to be ridiculed more than any other owner in this league.
The main thing that made me angry was the fact that my team was supposed to annihilate Chill’s miserable squad. Instead, I had to stay up until one in the morning watching a horrible game (maybe I was really tired) and suffer through with every ball not thrown to Vincent Jackson.
My team made me look foolish. I had big time players going against shaky defenses and the numbers they put up made my last post sound disastrous. Allow me to summarize:
Boldin: You put up 1.9 points against the 49ers. Someone please refresh my memory, but last time I checked the 49ers didn’t have a good number one CB. You got shut down by their number two. Are you kidding me? You should be able to dominate that defense with one leg. I expected you to make me regret not pulling the trigger on Roddy White in the off-season; I just didn’t expect it to be so soon.
Slaton: I will show some respect for Chill’s once again over hyped J-E-T-S Jets, Jets, Jets and say that Rex Ryan is simply a defensive genius. I am sure he spent numerous days at the VET watching his father build the best defense in the league for years. I am sure he also saw them lose every playoff game, which is where he is headed as a head coach. Enjoy him Chill; I am sure you are going to love having one of the best defenses in the league (anything to forget the dreadful Brett Favre debacle).
As for Mr. Everything (the only man who could make an Amish boy show a remote sign of intelligence) I am not mad that you didn’t put up good numbers, but at least take care of the football. You had one good play and it ended on a fumble. Your nickname was the only thing people actually bought out of my last post and you ruined that in a week. The only thing that makes me not hate you more is the fact that our league drafts so poorly that I got to draft the person I wanted anyway.
Steve Smith: I really want to be upset with you but your quarterback is Jake Delhomme. I guess nobody told him that the playoffs were over and he could once again start throwing to the guys in blue (or is it turquoise)? Plus, you got spanked by the best defense in the league and should be proud you even caught a pass. To think that AJ Feely could be my savior this year is not a very warm feeling.
Qb’s (Cutler and Schuab) - This is where things really got bad. I spent about an hour finding reasons why my combination of quarterbacks would be just as good as Brees. You two bums together didn’t get half of his points.
Here are some of the QBs who scored more points than you two nauseating wastes of space: Eli Manning, Brady Quinn, Shaun Hill, Mark Sanchez, Kyle Orton, Leftwhich and Brodie Croyle. Watching Cutler throw last night was almost as pathetic as watching Dave’s team score an astounding 48 points.
AP- Obviously I am not angry with Mr. Purple Jesus, but I have to mention this story. While on a trip with my soccer team (we are 0-6 and I am starting to think that my schedule is a little out of my league) in the incredible town of Hackettstown, NJ, where the line outside the only decent restaurant was extending around an entire block, I decided to fight the unpleasant odor and go for a walk. While walking I had a brief exchange of words with my Amish friend Beiler. I sent him a text message with my projected AP stats against the tremendous Browns defense. I was very modest and said: 110 yds and 2 Tds. The Amish simply replied with a snobbish HAHAHAHA. Well I ask you guys to please quote me (again) on this: AP will end up with 2050 yds and 18 Tds.
As you can see, nobody is safe from the “New Rule”. So, while setting your line ups, making your pick ups, or simply writing a controversial post, please do not forget to actually use some common sense. I obliviously did not and paid a hefty price.
Finally, I want to apologize for talking so much shit on Bryan for trading Forte for Jones. I suppose he had a vision during his week long stint in jail and was able to prophesize the future (at least for week 1).
You can’t handle “THE TRUTH”
If you think you're job is too important or pressing to peruse these links, you're wrong! A daily sampling of the best of the internet:
If the greatest tennis player of all time calls this his best shot ever, you should probably give it a look...or two.
- After watching ESPN's fantastic video segment on Jordan's 23 best plays of all time, you'll remember why he's considered the best of all time. [Jordan's Best]
- Chris Collinsworth not only takes Madden's place in the booth on MNF, but also his lofty status among 14-18 females [Collinsworth the LadyKiller]
- The King Kong parallels in this clip are far to evident to be ignored. [Serena Williams Goes Bonkers on Line Judge]
- Tennis's foot fault rule: Should this age-old rule be revised? [Weighing in on Foot Faults]
- Everyone knows Bill Simmons is an unabashed homer, but that is easy to look past and/or possibly laud. But a corporate sell out? [Slate Explains Simmons New Sponsor]
- The Simmons article in question, which is actually one of his better recent articles. [Simmons Week 1 Predictions/Crazy Offseason]
An hour before the 2009 NFL season kicks off (at 2:30 AM Swiss Time!), and after seven drafts of my playoff predictions, I've finally had enough. Read, enjoy, and use as your end-all be-all gambling guide.
NFC East:
1. Philadelphia (11-5)- The additions of Vick and McCoy have gotten all the attention, but it is Jason Peters who Donovan will be thanking Jeffrey Lurie for.
2. NY Giants (10-6)- Great running game. Great defense. Bad quarterback. Worse receivers. Welcome to 10-6.
3. Dallas (10-6)- Hey Jerry, look on the bright side. The low-hanging scoreboard won't create any controversy during the playoffs.
4. Washington (7-9)- Don't worry. An uncapped 2010 means the Redskins will finally hit .500.
NFC North:
1. Green Bay (13-3)- Aaron Rodgers: Brett Favre minus the Vicodin, drama and gray hair.
2. Minnesota (8-8)- Tavaris Jackson, I mean Brett Favre, will lose as many games as he wins for the Vikes.
3. Detroit (5-11)- Out of the cellar! The football team, not the city.
4. Chicago (4-12)- Optimism is high because Jay Cutler and Earl Bennett have been reunited. The same Jay Cutler and Earl Bennett who went 5-6 during their one year together at Vanderbilt.
NFC South:
1. Atlanta (11-5)- Think Arthur Blank would like a mulligan on the LT for Vick trade?
2. New Orleans (10-6)- Double-digit wins while playing no defense. Yes, they can!
3. Carolina (8-8)- For those of you who thought Aaron Brooks was the only quarterback capable of single-handedly losing a football game, I present to you Mr. Jake Delhomme.
4. Tampa Bay (5-11)- Is Jeff Garcia really worth 4 wins? Sadly, yes.
NFC West:
1. Arizona (11-5)- Kurt Warner's Canton inscription: I took THE RAMS and THE CARDINALS to the Super Bowl.
2. San Francisco (7-9)- Shaun Hill's career passer rating is 90.5. I wouldn't believe it either, so for posterity's sake, I've provided this link.
3. St. Louis (5-11)- I repeat: Kurt Warner won a Super Bowl WITH THE RAMS!
4. Seattle (5-11)- "We'll take the ball...and we're gonna score"... enough to win 5 games.
AFC East:
1. New England (11-5)- Unfortunately for the rest of the AFC, KC is not on New England's schedule this year.
2. Buffalo (7-9)- TO in a town where bars stay packed until 4. Now that is reality t.v.
3. Miami (6-10)- Chad Pennington, the Jaime Moyer of the NFL.
4. New York Jets (5-11)- Over/under on Mark Sanchez's TD passes this season: 14. Matt Leinart career touchdown passes: 14
AFC North:
1. Pittsburgh (12-4)- Take solace, Pirates fans, all eight of you.
2. Cincinnati (8-8)- Bengals get the "Hard Knocks" bump, good for atleast 3 projected wins.
3. Baltimore (7-9)- Did you know that Ray Lewis once killed a man with his bare hands?
4. Cleveland (3-13)- Congrats, Brady! You just won the right to get pummeled into submission for the first four games of the year.
AFC South
1. Indianapolis (13-3)- Peyton Manning, Anthony Gonzalez, and Dallas Clark. Their offense is almost as white as their uniforms!
2. Houston (10-6)- The only team in the NFL to never make the playoffs finally squeaks in, promptly gets pummeled.
3. Jacksonville (10-6)- The Jags number one wide receiver is an ex-Arkansas quarterback with an affinity for white powder. Why do I have them at 10-6 again?
4. Tennessee (7-9)- A sober Kerry Collins takes this team deep in the playoffs. A relapsed Kerry? Well, you see where I stand.
AFC West
1. San Diego (13-3)- Rich Kotite coaching this team would make me feel more comfortable about my Super Bowl pick than Norv Turner.
2. Oakland (7-9)- If the shock of a 7-9 record isn't enough to kill the old man, I don't know what is.
3. Denver (4-12)- Kyle. Orton. or. Chris. Simms. Thank. You. Josh. McDaniels.
4. Kansas City (3-13)- And a Chanticleer shall lead them...
Playoffs? Playoffs? We're talking playoffs?
NFC:
1. Green Bay
2. Atlanta
3. Philadelphia
4. Arizona
5. New York Giants
6. New Orleans Saints
AFC:
1. San Diego
2. Indianapolis
3. Pittsburgh
4. New England
5. Houston
6. Jacksonville
Wild Card Round:
NFC:
Philadelphia over New Orleans
Arizona over New York Giants
AFC:
Pittsburgh over Jacksonville
New England over Houston
Divisional Round:
NFC:
Philadelphia over Atlanta
Arizona over Green Bay
AFC:
San Diego over New England
Indianapolis over Pittsburgh
Championship Round:
NFC:
Philadelphia over Arizona
AFC:
San Diego over Indianapolis
Super Bowl:
Philadelphia over San Diego
Handing out the Hardware:
Coach of the Year: Mike McCarthy (Packers)
MVP: LaDanian Tomlinson
Offensive Player of the Year: Steven Jackson
Defensive Player of the Year: Shawne Merriman
Offensive Rookie of the Year: James Davis
The beauty about a new season is that even Dan and Bryan have a chance to win (until week 1). Everyone feels they have a legitimate chance to put all the pieces together and get to the promise land. We all know this is a load of bologna and only the uneducated can’t distinguish between the contenders and the pretenders in our fantasy league.
I agree that titles are won in the waiver wire and by making the right midseason moves, but if you think that the perennial bottom feeders of this league have a chance to win then you are just simply lying to yourself. I know that my next line will be taken with skepticism by many since I have a tendency to say things in order to create controversy, but I just want to go on record, following the steps of my World Champion friend Jimmy Rollins, and say that I am the team to beat this year.
I know what you’re thinking, “here is another one of Daveed’s ludicrous predictions.” I only ask that you finish reading my reasons for the prediction before making any harsh, judgmental comment.
Since we started this keeper league in 2006, I have finished 11th, 8th and 4th, I know this is necessarily a strong beginning point but on top of improving my record every year, I have improved my keepers and went from a horrendous team to a contender in two years. I have modeled my team after our beloved Phillies: I spent the first two years in the basement, mostly because I had the Ed Wade syndrome and would make horrible moves (trading TO for nothing, trading a 1st rounder for Roy Williams and getting rid of Drew Brees) and I also ran into some bad luck with injuries (Alexander missing most of the season and Steve Smith and AP getting hurt during an important time of the season). My focus this off season was to make sure I got a good #2 RB to complement Mr. Purple Jesus. Last year, I went only as far as AP would carry me. When he faltered, so did my team. With the addition of “Mr. Everything” Steve Slaton, I have a complimentary player at the RB position and no longer need the Purple Jesus to be my savior every Sunday.
Another reason for my prediction is the fact that I was able to trade out of the first round and still get players who were worth a high first round pick in our league. Vincent Jackson, Donald Brown and Jonathan Stewart are all very good #2s at their position. While they would be key players on most teams in this league, they are mere ROLE PLAYERS for the Blanka Express.
Lastly, I am a much wiser owner now and although I still believe there is nothing wrong with over working the waiver wire, I am no longer going to jeopardize my team’s chances by changing the team’s core. I am going to give my studs time to be studs and just sit back and watch greatness happen every weekend. I wish you all luck going for 2nd place this year, because the Blanka Express is leaving the station on Thursday night and its final destination is Fantasy Heaven.[DS1]
You can’t handle the “TRUTH”
If you've read any of my previous blog posts, you know that I love the last four rounds of drafts. Each team will get their share of good players early, and it is finding value in the late rounds that can set a team apart. While the others are busy lamenting the fact that the draft has been dragging on too long, are too drunk to care, or are busy picking up a third string quarterback, keep this cheat sheet handy and use it to scoop up this year's Steve Slaton.
Speaking of Slaton, he provides a good yard-marker for what constitutes a late round gem. Largely a draft afterthought (ADP 143), Slaton rewarded savvy owners with a rookie season for the ages, finishing as the seventh rated running back and carrying many teams deep into the playoffs.
For my purposes, I've set the ADP cut-off at 144, which is the end of the 12th round for a standard 12 team league. Round 13 is when the fun really begins, the last round for owners in a 15 round league who adhere to the defense-kicker in the final two rounds strategy (which is a mistake in itself, but that's for another post). Of course, if you really like a player, even one whose ADP is super high, don't hesitate to jump on him earlier. You never know which one of your buddies have eyes for the same player. Don't be the one who waits too long.
Aside from Slaton, there were plenty of other productive, even very good, fantasy players drafted after the 144 threshold. Kevin Walter (ADP 164) ended the season as the number #20 overall wideout, ahead of the much higher drafted Wes Welker and Laverneus Coles, and proved to be a reliable WR2. Another young wideout, Eddie Royal, burst onto the scene, ending the year one spot ahead of Walter, quite an accomplishment for a player who went undrafted in almost all leagues.
At running back, Pierre Thomas (ADP 170) and Tim Hightower (181) both became their team's lead backs well before mid-season and turned that opportunity into fantasy gold, finishing 21st and 33rd among backs.
Derrick Ward may have been the greatest revelation of all, selected last season at 182, ironically enough after his now backup's backup, Cadillac Williams. Ward, who rushed for over 1,000 yards spelling Brandon Jacobs, ended the season as the 22nd best running back and parlayed that success into a starting gig (and big contract) with the Bucs. Still not convinced? Well then pick up that back-up tight end in the 13th and have fun riding him to fantasy failure.
Running Back
The fact that time-shares are so common and because running backs have the highest risk of injury, the greatest chance of scoring a late round gem is at this position. Start by looking for backups who are playing behind veterans who are prone to injury or backups playing behind healthy players who are prone to sucking, and that should provide you with enough sleepers for ten fantasy
drafts.
Shonn Greene (ADP 172)- Thomas Jones lead the AFC in rushing yards last season with 1312 yards. Thomas Jones is a good, not great running back. Thomas Jones is 31 years old and is being investigated by the NFL's anti-doping commission for his excessive use of Geritol and Metamucil.
James Davis (ADP 187)- BREAKING NEWS! Jamal Lewis sucks! The kid who broke all of Lewis's Georgia state high school records will also be taking his job by week 4.
Bernard Scott (ADP 207)- What is it with AFC Central teams from Ohio and their affinity for over-the-hill, slow and plodding running backs? Word out of camp is that Cedric Benson is “rejuvenated”. Rejuvenated to what? A man who has a career average of 3.7 yards per carry and has never rushed for over 750 yards in a season? I'll take my chances with the Abiline Christian product who should see plenty of 3rd down action even if the Bungles decide to stick it out with the Gazelle.
Glen Coffee (ADP 188)- Anytime a starting running back has an orthopedist in his Fave 5, its a good idea to own his backup. Coffee has turned some heads in preseason with his numbers, and while he has never been flashy, he is a workhorse type back. This is equal parts a vote of no confidence for Gore as it is a vote of confidence for Coffee.
Jerious Norwood (ADP 167)- This is the one instance where the starter ahead of Norwood, Michael Turner, is neither old nor sucks. The Falcons have publicly said that they want cut down on Turner's carries (376 last year), which should open up touches for Norwood, an explosive runner who can break one at any point. Don't expect Norwood to take your team to a championship, but he should come close to 1,000 total yards and 5 or 6 touchdowns, which are solid numbers for a bye week
fill-in.
Jamaal Charles (ADP 171)- The second year man out of Texas finds himself behind Larry Johnson on the depth chart. If Larry's off-season workout regimen of bathing daily Fountain Of Youth helps him regain his 2005-2006 form, then Charles will be buried on the bench. If it doesn't, then Charles will see more and more work each week and could very easily wind up as the starter just in time for the fantasy playoffs. Smart moneys on the latter.
Michael Bush (ADP 190)- You didn't think I could write a whole sleeper column without a mention of the Man Crush did you? Remember, this was a man who was projected to be a first round draft pick before breaking his leg his senior year at Louisville, and who already has a 177 yard, 2 touchdown NFL game under his belt. One of these years...
Wide Receiver
Wideouts are a much more sketchy proposition when trying to predict what late rounder will hit big. Even if they do emerge and become a second or third wideout, its much harder to guarantee targets than it is carries. The best way to begin your search for a late round gem is to look at third or fourth receivers on high powered offenses or guys who have the potential to be top wideouts on more anemic ones.
Chris Henry (ADP 146)- Henry is two years and ten arrests removed from his most productive season (you know, that one where the Bengals were actualy good), where he had 9 touchdowns and 605 yards. He looks to be firmly entrenched in the #3 wideout spot in Cincy, behind Ochocinco and Coles. While they both will probably end up the season with more yards, look for Henry, who has always had a knack for the endzone, to lead the wideouts in touchdowns catches. For what it's worth, he's also leads the NFL in preseason yards and touchdowns.
Patrick Crayton (ADP 168)- When TO left, it was assumed that Crayton would fit nicely into the 2nd wideout spot oppposite of Roy Williams. Had that happened, his ADP would most likely be much higher. However, he was pushed early in camp by Miles Austin, and there was talk that Austin would leapfrog him on the depth chart. This caused his ADP to plummet, and it has yet to recover, making him an awesome value this late in the draft. While Dallas is chock-full of offensive weapons, Crayton should get ample opportunity to prove himself. Expect him to be a player who sees his name much higher going into next year's draft after an eye-opening 850 yard, 8 touchdown season.
Josh Morgan (ADP 146)- The poster child for “a number one on an anemic offense.” With Michael Crabtree holding out and Isaac Bruce aging years every day, Morgan, by default, grabs the #1 wideout spot in San Fran. With the two headed “monster” of Shaun Hill and Alex Smith at quarterback, expect productive but modest numbers, somewhere in the neighborhood of 800 yards and 6 touchdowns. But keep an eye on this vastly talented wideout, because with a better offense and a year or two of experience, he could find himself near the top of fantasy draft lists.
Steve Smith (ADP 154)- Whereas San Fran's wideout situation is bad, New York's is atrocious, Smith is the most polished of the young Giants receiving core and the most likely to step up and be fantasy “semi”-relevant. But remember, he has Eli throwing to him, or at least throwing in his general direction.
Davone Bess/Greg Camarillo (ADP 183/193)- The same type of player on the same team with relatively the same ADP and the same amount of catches last season. Take your pick. Before missing the last five games due to an ACL tear, Camarillo was leading the the Dolphins in catches (55) and yards (613) but like every other Dolphins receiver, had trouble finding the end zone (2 td's). After Camarillo went down, Bess stepped into the second wideout role behind Ted Ginn and put up almost identical numbers, pulling down 30 catches and 279 yards in those five games. As of right now, Bess holds a slight lead on the depth chart, but both are pushing hard for that starting spot. One of them could be very productive this season, but deciding which is anyone's guess.
Tight End
As more and more teams turn to tight ends to be weapons in the passing game, fantasy players are able to wait later and later to pick up tight ends that prove serviceable. For those who prefer to wait on a tight end and use the middle rounds to back up their starting running backs and wideouts, this is the list for you.
Visanthe Schiancoe (ADP 135)- I'm cheating a little here, as the “Purple Monster” falls outside of my self-imposed 144 threshold. But it is with good reason, as Schiancoe is one of the top values in all of fantasy football. Currently sitting at 135, which for the math un-inclined is the third pick of the 11th round, Schiancoe is the 13th TE coming off the draft board. While names such Jason Witten, Antonio Gates, Tony Gonzalez and Dallas Clark being drafted ahead of him should come as no surprise, it should come as a surprise that those are the only four tight ends who had more fantasy points than Schiancoe last year. With the addition of the known tight-end lover Brett Favre, Schiancoe should be in for an even bigger year. While Schiancoe has received a lot of love from a certain male-driven, internet-based industry, it remains a mystery as to why the fantasy community has yet to jump on the Visanthe Train. Don't miss out!
Vernon Davis (ADP 190)- I can openly admit it; I'm an addict to potential, and thats why I love the final rounds so much. Like most real G.M.'s and fantasy football players, I'm a sucker for that little, nine letter buzzword that causes us to forgo the Laverneus Coles' of the world and instead jump on the Chris Chambers' year in and year out. And if you love potential, there is no more intriguing player in the NFL than Vernon Davis, the combine warrior who was drafted seven rounds too early by the Niners four years ago. I can offer up a bevy of rational explanations for drafting Davis; Mike Singletary has praised his work ethic and dedication throughout camp this year, he is playing for quarterbacks (Shaun Hill and Alex Smith) who prefer the dink and dunk to the longball, there are no legitimate wideouts to steal catches away from him, the 4th year TE leap (ok, that one's made up). But let's be honest. When you are drafting Davis, a man with 9 career touchdown receptions, you are drafting him because he is 6-3, 250, runs a 4.38 40 and carries the team bus to the airport when it breaks down. (want to marvel more at his athletic ability? Read this). If that is too much for you to pass up, then I welcome you to join me in drinking the kool-aid, year after year.
