Everyman's Fantasy

The Everyman breaks down each team's performance at 2009 fantasy draft for the TellMeHowMyPearTastes League. Each year, the reigning champion from the year gets the honor of naming the league for up-coming season. This year's league name is a shout-out to both Shaquille O'Neal's infamous freestyle and the fruit that The Everyman so strikingly resembles.

* You'll note that I didn't include my own draft in the rankings, as I felt it was difficult to be objective. I felt it would be more appropriate for others to comment on how they thought it stacked up.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the league rules, they are broken down below:

• Each team keeps 4 players from the year before. Those players are listed in the spreadsheet as draft picks for rounds 1-4. The draft really starts in round 5, with pick 49.

• Standard Yahoo Scoring is used, with a big game bonus of 3 points for 150 yards receiving/rushing or 350 yards passing

• The draft is a normal snake draft, based on the standings from the previous year.

Ff Draft Spreadsheet

1. Daveed (Neva Land Slumber Party)

It is a rare instance where I bestow praise on Blanca himself, Mr. Daveed Carvalho. Mainly, this is because he is so busy doing it himself, but this time, it is certainly deserved. Daveed had the league's best draft, picking up players at exactly the right time, and twice scooping my targeted player (Steve Breaston, Earnest Graham) right out from under me. He struck the perfect balance between potential and consistency. His second round (really our round 6), where he accumulated three picks (thanks to Bry), was a thing of beauty, taking three players that I thought could have went in the first.

I Like:

Vincent Jackson (Rd. 6, Pick 64)- Part of drafting is luck, and Daveed seemed to be sitting in the right spot everytime a player fell. Getting a number one wideout on an explosive offense with pick 64 is good, but getting one who could vastly improve his numbers from last season is phenomenal. It was between teammates Rivers and Jackson for my selection at #61. I'm hoping I didn't make the wrong call.

Donald Brown (Rd. 6, Pick 70)- I thought for sure Chill would be picking the Uconn product with one of his first two picks (especially since he owns Addai), but he let him slide by both times, in favor of Braylon and Felix Jones. Once again, Daveed made the most of the opportunity, taking the rookie running back who could easily end up as the best of the bunch. He has good vision, great skills as a receiver, and is playing behind the injury-prone Addai. Look out!

Amazingly, there is not a single pick that I dislike in Daveed's whole draft. Here are a few more quick thoughts:

Matt Schaub (Rd. 7, Pick 81); Jay Cutler (Rd. 10, Pick 112)- Daveed made a smart move by picking two quarterbacks with the potential for a big season, but who also have questions marks. I like Schaub more than Cutler, but with his injury history, its nice to have a backup who last season was a top 5 player at his position.

Steve Breaston (Rd. 9, Pick 105)- With Boldin and Fitz ahead of him, Breaston still managed to go over 1,000 yards, still good enough to be a low-level WR3 or top-notch WR4, which is nice value in the ninth round. If Boldin skips town, Breaston's value skyrockets. A great pick either way.

Earnest Graham (Rd. 11, Pick 129)- Yes, he is stuck in a committee, and yes, he'll lose carries to Derrick Ward. But to get a starting running back (as of right now) who is guaranteed to get goal-line carries while the rest of the league is busy picking defenses is yet another smart decision.


2. Knarr (iTeam)

In typical “that's so Knarr” fashion, Binks went with the solid choices, forgoing the home run for the safe picks, and it left him with a superb draft. More than any other team, he got good value with every one of his picks. If his keepers, which are only slightly above average, can step up, his team has a chance to be there in the end.

I Like:

Pierre Thomas (Rd. 5, Pick 54)- No one trusts Frenchy, probably because he has the league's least intimidating name. But don't sleep on him. He should be the main running back in a great offense and will most likely wind up as a top-15 running back, ahead of more hyped colleagues.

Derrick Ward (Rd. 6, Pick 67)- In back to back rounds, Knarr shored up his running back situation by getting two player who should end up the year as their team's starters. Ward ran for 1,000 yard last season in Jacob's shadow, and brings a 5.5 career ypc to Tampa. If he can approach 1,000 yards again, and see a spike in his touchdowns, he can provide a very good flex option.

Chris Cooley (Rd 11, Pick 126)- Cooley is quite possibly the best value in the whole draft. He was the 11th tight end selected (including keepers) and should easily be in the top 6 this season. His one touchdown season last year hurt his stock, but this is a player who had the 4th most receiving yards among tight ends. The touchdowns will return, and so will Cooley, to the top of the TE ranks.

Like Daveed, there is not a single pick of Knarr's that I don't like, and he got awesome value in the late rounds:

Josh Morgan (Rd. 12, Pick 139)- Someone has to catch balls in SF. Here's betting its not Vernon Davis.

Sticky Icky Ricky (Rd. 13, Pick 150)- Why not? An injury to Ronnie Brown and he is a legit starter.

Michael Bush (Rd. 14, Pick 163)- The only question surrounding Michael Bush is who would select him first with their late picks, me or Knarr. Three years and much heartbreak later, I still can't break my man crush on “the other Bush”. Apparently, neither can Knarr.


3. Beiler (The Chicago Bear-Jews)

By turning his plethora of quality players that he couldn't keep (Slaton, TO, Desean Jackson) into the #2 pick overall, Beiler was able to nab the best player in the draft pool, Roddy White. Being able to add a player of that caliber to an already explosive core of keepers not only allowed him to gamble on some other picks (McCoy) when others couldn't, but also puts him the driver's seat of the Tell Me How My Pear Tastes League.

I like:

Roddy White (Rd. 5, Pick 50)- Having had the pleasure of watching White grow first hand these last two years, I can tell you that he is a stud, and will continue to improve as him and Ryan get more familiar with each other. You lucked out on this one, Crimedog (interestingly enough, Bry also played a very large role in allowing this to happen).

Lesean McCoy (Rd. 5, Pick 61)- Being in a Philadelphia area league, one of the big questions was how high Shady would go. I would have bet my life on the fact that he didn't slip past Jesse at pick 59, but when he did, Beiler did the right thing in scooping up the Westbrook clone. Not only will he provide value this year, but his upside is tremendous. Will Beiler be able to find room for him in his crowded group of keepers?

Peyton Hillis (Rd. 11, Pick 131)- In selecting McClain and Hillis back to back Beiler clearly showed he harbors no signs of racism, taking both a white and black td-vulturing fullback. Hillis is the better option, as he could see extended time in the Bronco's pileup, especially since he is the only one of the three (Moreno and Buckhalter) who has experience in the offense.

Chris Chambers (Rd. 12, Pick 134)- Sure, every year he disappoints both real fans and fantasy fans alike (did you know he has had only one 1,000 yard season IN HIS CAREER), but he still plays in an explosive offense and is the number two receiver. For the first time in six years, his draft placement was finally indictative of his actual on the field performance, and he should provide Crime with a decent bench option.

Not So Nice:

Brandon Pettigrew (Rd. 16, Pick 179)- So maybe its being nit-picky, faulting Crime for taking a back-up tight end with his second to last pick, but I don't see Pettigrew doing anything, especially this year. A poor man's Vernon Davis doesn't quite have a nice ring to it.


4. Baldo (My Blindside is sOher)

Just like every other year, Baldo's emotional detachment from the players involved allowed him to take what he deemed the best available player at each spot, failing to fall for hype or name recognition. He has an uncanny knack for unearthing hidden gems in the middle to late rounds each year (Carson Palmer, Larry Johnson, Willie Parker, Chris Johnson), and I expect this year to be no different.

I Like:

Ahmad Bradshaw (Rd. 7, Pick 82)- He scooped up my main handcuff two picks before I could get him, a smart move made even smarter if Jacobs goes down for any substantial amount of time. With Ward out of the picture, Bradshaw could easily be a viable flex option even with a healthy Jacobs.

Derrick Mason (Rd. 10, Pick 111)- The un-retired grizzled vet always seems to put up numbers but not get the publicity. In many ways, he is the essence of what a Baldo player is; successful, but under the radar. It's picks like this that keep Baldo in the top 3-4 teams every season.

I'll once again go quick hit format for the following picks, since there are a number that I like:

David Garrard (Rd. 11, Pick 130)- David Garrard was the #11 ranked fantasy quarterback last season, ahead of Tony Romo. Betcha didn't know that.

The whole entire back end of his draft; Rashad Jennings (Rd. 13), Steve Smith (Rd. 14), Jamaal Charles (Rd. 15), and Robert Meachem (Rd. 16) all not only provide depth, but all are also very intriguing; Smith could turn into a viable third receiver, Jennings could explode if MJD goes down, Charles should usurp LJ any day now, and Meachem plays in the most pass-happy offense in the league. Not bad for your final four.

Not So Nice:

Matt Hasselback (Rd. 9, Pick 106)- Anyone remember the “we'll take the ball, and we're gonna score” fiasco. If your memory is a little hazy, then that's because it was five years ago, during the 2004 playoffs. Coincidentally, that is the last time Matt Hasselback was a good quarterback. A wasted pick when there was a lot of potential (Breaston, Ginn, Chris Henry, etc.) left on the board.


5. Frank (Harem McNair)

Frank had a nice draft, adding a bunch of young players and potential sleepers to his quality core of Brady-Moss-Barber-Lynch.

I Like:

Michael Crabtree (Rd. 11, Pick 125, ADP 158 )- After filling out his starting lineup, Frank decided to take a flyer on this year's most talented rookie. While his contract holdout makes him a spoiled little baby who might not see the field this year, his potential is off the charts, and in a keeper league, it's excusable to jump a little early, especially with Moss getting old.

Correll Buckhalter (Rd. 14, Pick 164, ADP 157 )- While Knowshown gets all the publicity and will probably be named the starter, Buckhalter is a steal in the 14th round. Getting a second string back in the Denver zone blocking scheme whose competition is a rookie with an already sprained MCL has about as much value as anyone in the third to last round.

Not So Nice:

Beanie Wells (Rd. 5, Pick 54, ADP 73)- Since high school, everyone has called Beanie the protoypical running back, a physical specimen who is big enough to run over you and quick enough to run away from you. Since high school, Beanie has been getting hurt. With Marshawn suspended for the first three games, and Frank having a chance to compete for the title this year, he should have went with a back that could have helped him more this season, and not looked as much to the future. Pierre Thomas, Jonathan Stewart, or TJ Duckett (just kidding!) should have been the pick here.


6. Dave (Baltimore That's So Ravens)

After snagging Forte from Bry (who else) for Thomas Jones and his first round pick, Dave was left without a selection until the middle of the second. In 2006, his draft strategy (LJ, Torry Holt, Carson Palmer) would have lead him to a fantasy title. In 2009, it won't. No one I really like, and no one I really hate. All in all, a very bland draft.

I Like:

Larry Johnson (Rd. 8, Pick 90)- With the way LJ slipped in our draft, he must have felt like a hybrid of Aaron Rodgers-Brady Quinn. Dave finally, and wisely, snatched him up with pick 90. No, he'll never come close to being the back he was, but he is still unquestionably the starter in KC and his numbers have to improve over last year. Right?

Mewelde Moore (Last Pick)- Not having a first rounder, Dave had to add on a player with the last pick in the draft. You could do much worse with Mister Irrelevant than Mewelde, who stepped in and played very well in the absence of Parker and Mendenhall. Pittsburgh would rather play Parker and Mendenhall because they've invested money and draft picks on them, but Moore always finds a way to get onto the field, and even without a starting role, could still prove to be a good bye week fill-in as a third down back.

Not So Nice:

Deion Branch (Rd. 10, Pick 114)- This is the part of the draft where it gets very cloudy with wideouts. The remaining wide receivers are mostly unproven young players, has-beens, or just generally unreliable fantasy options. Branch falls in the latter two categories, and has always been a player I've disliked. I would have gone with a younger player with more upside for my fourth wideout.


7. Derek (Donte's Peak B.A.L)

Derek was having a phenomenal draft, getting good value almost entirely through. That is, up until the 12th round, when he went defense, kicker, back-up tight end, back-up defense, back-up kicker. I know there is no right way to play fantasy football, but there sure is a wrong way, and this, my friends, is it.

I Like:

Ray Rice (Rd. 5, Pick 52, ADP 69)- Rice went a little high for my taste, but Derek implemented the “if you really like a player, its better to reach for him than settle for someone else and lose him” strategy, and I think it was the right move. Rice will be starting over Willis “The Keeper” McGahee on a team that loves to pound the ball (what options do you have when you employ a University of Delaware grad as your starting qb?). Rice certainly wouldn't have fallen back to Derek, and he made a bold, but smart, move to get him early.

Kurt Warner (Rd. 7, Pick 76, ADP 40)- Wow! Derek must have been licking his chops when McNabb and Ryan went right before him, allowing Kurt the Magnificent to fall into his lap. Scooping up a player that could end up as the #1 overall quarterback in the seventh round is a “God”-send, and could end up being one of the major steals of the draft.

Zach Miller (Rd. 11, Pick 124, ADP 119)- Yes, he's a Raider, but one of the few Raiders who has a chance at some reasonable fantasy production. Miller has as much upside as any tight end outside of the top tier guy, and is a nice pick this late, considering some of the other tight ends already selected.

Not So Nice:

Brent Celek (Round 14, Pick 166), Bears D (Round 15, Pick 172), Jeff Reed (Round 16, Pick 189)- None of these picks are bad picks in themselves, but if you are going to pick a defense and a kicker before the last two rounds (Derek selected the Cowboys D in Round 12 and Nate Kaeding in Round 13) then why are you wasting picks at the end of the draft backing them up? Worrying about Nate Kaeding's hamstring should be the least of Derek's problems.


8. Chill (The NFL on THC)

Coming into the draft, Chill unquestionably had the worst keepers, and needed to make a splash in the draft to really turn around his team. He made a valiant effort, hitting big with some picks, but left a lot to be desired with some others. The one unanswered question surrounding this draft that I really want answered: If McGahee wasn't kept, how far would he have fallen in the draft? I'm putting the over/under at the middle of the 8th round, pick 90.

I Like:

Felix Jones (Rd. 6, Pick 65)- With McGahee and Addai as his starting running backs, Chill needed to take a risk and go after a player who could turn into something special. While his injury history scares me, Jones has the potential to be a lead back in this league, and if Barber gets dinged up again, his chance could come sooner rather than later. Will this pick help him win this year? Probably not, but with a decent season from Jones, it could give him some options for keepers. Would have rather seen him take Donald Brown, but that's probably just a matter of preference.

Chris Henry (Rd. 10, Pick 113)- Even though he is listed as the third receiver in Cincy, Henry will see the field on almost every play. Having The Gazelle as your starting tailback means the ball will find itself in the air often, which opens up opportunities for this convicted felon. He has always shown a knack for catching touchdowns, and with Ochocinco and Coles demanding attention, he could really flourish.

Not So Nice:

Mario Manningham (Rd. 12, Pick 137)- Picks like this are the reason that Chill will continually fall to turn it around. Manningham is going, and rightfully so, undrafted in almost all leagues. This team not only needs depth, but it needs some star power. Why not take a flier on a player with much more upside (Josh Morgan, Earl Bennet, even his own teammate Steve Smith)? Manningham is the third wide receiver on the worst receiving corps in the league, and does not warrant any pick, let alone a 12th rounder. Ironically, Chill got a much better receiver with his last pick (Greg Camarillo).

Eli Manning (Rd. 13, Pick 152)- Man, Chill must really believe in the Giants passing game, wasting both 12th and 13th round picks on this stellar unit. Not only is Eli an awful fantasy quarterback, he is also the world's worst human being. Way to hit the double whammy!


9. Jesse (Mario Reyes Was Offsides)

Jesse got some nice value with a few of his picks, but that wasn't enough to undo the damage that was done with throwing away his first rounder. If he had used his first rounder on any number of players (Brandon Marshall, LeSean McCoy, Donald Brown, Vincent Jackson) his draft class would have looked very nice. Instead, he has everyone asking "why?"

I Like:

Donovan McNabb (Rd. 7, Pick 74, ADP 60)- Surprisingly, Donovan was the only Eagle drafted by Jesse this season, and the pick didn't come three rounds too early. Getting a quarterback in the seventh round who is a lock to finish in the top 10 and has a decent chance at being top 5 is great value for Jesse. With all the tools at Donovan's disposal, he could be in for his biggest fantasy season since 04-05, when he threw for 3,800 yards and 31 touchdowns.

Fred Taylor (Rd. 12, Pick 143, ADP 124)- Taylor has emerged as the early leader to start in the logjam that is the Patriots backfield, and while it seems unlikely that he will put together a season that merits fantasy stardom, he should consistently score between six and nine points a week. Jesse added great running back depth this late in the draft.

Not So Nice:

TJ Duckett (Rd. 5, Pick 58, ADP 200)- For the second straight year, pick 58 has received the honored distinction of being unquestionably the worst in the draft. What is about this number that falls between 57 and 59 that so entrances its owners to take players unworthy of such a high draft slot? Following on the heels of Derek's Travis Henry pick of a year ago, Jesse selected Seattle's BACK UP RUNNING BACK, a player who last year ran for 172 yards. IN 16 GAMES! I would have staked my life on the fact that Jesse would take LeSean McCoy if he was available, and while that may have been a reach, it would have given him a young player with tremendous upside. Instead, he gets an old player with zero upside, and one that is going undrafted in most leagues.


10. Bry (Goin 2 Jail With Plax?)

Bry continues the trend of trying to get “sleepers” with every single pick in the draft. While not a sound strategy, it is certainly one that keeps it entertaining for the rest of the league. Fortunately, when one of his sleeper picks does hit (MJD, Matt Forte), he feels the need to trade them away for pennies on the dollar, once again to the entertainment of the rest of the league.

I Like:

Anthony Gonzalez (Rd 5, Pick 55, ADP 51)- Gonzo's breakout season could be sniffed out a mile away, and Bry was smart to snatch him up before he got out of the first round. A WR2 in the Colts offense who is entering his third year and has developed great chemistry with Manning, Gonzalez will develop into a very nice second wideout for Bry, and could even emerge as a Welker-level keeper.

Not So Nice:

Bry reached for a ton of players, often at the expense of getting more seasoned veterans who would provide better consistency. A small sampling:

Matt Ryan (Rd. 7, Pick 75, ADP 74)- Don't get me wrong, I love Matt Ryan, but not at this spot, and not ahead of Kurt Warner, Tony Romo, and even Matt Schaub. Ryan is a better real-life quarterback than he is a fantasy quarterback and is only entering his second season. It will be at least another season before he can crack into the top 10 fantasy qb's, and this is a perfect example of eschewing proven starters for that “break-out” pick.

Owen Daniels (Rd. 9, Pick 99, ADP 92)- Not sure why Daniels would be drafted ahead of Greg Olsen, Chris Cooley, Kellen Winslow, or Zach Miller.

Darius Heyward-Bey (Rd. 10, Pick 118, ADP 200)- This pick makes perfect sense for Bry, seeing as he bears a striking resemblance to Al Davis, both in his draft strategy and winning percentage. I'm just surprised JaMarcus Russell doesn't have a spot on Bry's squad yet. I give it 3 weeks.


11. DC (Vick Is In the Building):

I Like:

Shonne Green (Rd. 9, Pick 97, ADP 162)- DC gets a young running back who falls into the lucky position of running behind a line that paved the way for Thomas Jones to lead the AFC in rushing last season. The only thing that stands in the way of Greene and a 1,000 yard season is the 31 year old Jones, who just happens to be Bry's #1 running back. Looks like our two resident bottom feeders will have an abnormally high interest in Jets football this season.

Not So Nice:

You can take your pick here, as at least half of DC's picks left you scratching your head. The highlights:

Kevin Curtis (Rd. 7, Pick 73, ADP 129)- White Lightning was picked before wideouts like Laverneus Coles, Donnie Avery, Jerricho Cotchery, Lance Moore, Kevin Walters and Devin Hester. You get the picutre.

Donald Lee (Rd. 13, Pick 145, ADP 209)- Overheard at the draft: “Is Donald Lee still alive?”

Greg Lewis (Rd. 16, Pick 192, Undrafted)- It's hard to hate on a pick when it is the last round, but Greg Lewis? If he couldn't put up fantasy points in an Eagles offense that threw 70% of the time, what makes anyone believe he can do it in Jacksonville's run-heavy offense?